He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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