You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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