bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
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I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
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Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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