his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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