Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
