Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
