Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
