he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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