It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
