you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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