well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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