They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
