Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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