You don't have asthma, your pregnant
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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