Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
