lets start a swedish sibling band together
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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