I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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