you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
