Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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