Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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