Tell her she can't have a vagina
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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