i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
