Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize