I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
