This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
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She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
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I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.