Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
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I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..