i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
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what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
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Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.