i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
