but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize