$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
