David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
