I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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