I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
