She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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