Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
