Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
