Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
