No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
