If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
