I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
