The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
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how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize