I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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