until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
