I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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