so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
