well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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