Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
