Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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