I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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