It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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