Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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