she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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