yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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