ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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