Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
