Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it

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(248): View more from Michigan

To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....

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(404): View more from Georgia

My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.

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(303): View more from Colorado

He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family

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(850): View more from Florida

I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.

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(620): View more from Kansas

I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters

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(513): View more from Ohio

He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!

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