he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
