she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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