I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Houston, we have a squirter
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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