Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You dont lie about slip and slides
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
