I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
