Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
