she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
