i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
not ubering you a puppy
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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